Terror at Home

Hey Lesleigh,

First I want to apologize for it being so late but it has been a crazy week for me. It seems that we miss each other in class. I know you weren't there for the Terror at Home video but there were some things that go my attention. The one thing that stuck out to me, and I have no idea why, but it was the protective order only being good for two years. The way the officer said it in the video was like after that then it is ok. I would not be satisified with that. I know it is hard for me to speak on it since I have no experience in anything remotely close to this but two years is a short time for the time they spent hurting the victim. I do not believe that two years is enough time to get over something like that. Another thing that got me was that the perpetrators somehow end up making the victims feel guilty. I think that is a real shame. In my service learning I hear stories all the time about this. There are two teenage girls, one pregnant, that comes to the classes each week to get help. They both were in abusive relationships and I think one of their boyfriends tried killing her. They got protective orders against them but there is no guarentee that they will listen. I am so proud that they had the courage to get out before it was too late. I always see these murders that husbands committ on their wives and I can't believe it. I guess divorce was just to easy that they had to kill instead.

In class, at least the ones I was at, we mainly talked about men beating on women but in my brother's case it was opposite. My brother and his wife were married for about a year and one day my brother called my sister saying that his wife accused him of cheating and starting hitting him. He had bruises and cuts all over his face but he felt guilty. He would not put blame on the one hitting him but trying to come up with other excuses. He went back but they still fight all the time. I think, like Nancy in the video, he is scared that she will leave him and take their daughter.

The last thing about this is that I want to say I agree whole heartedly with Whitney about how the one doing the hitting and hurting has no room for negtiations. I just think that is absurd that they will try to plea bargin with them when it is their fault they are in the mess.